Wow...almost 6 months and no update...Things have change, mi birthday was the best fucking party, since that day we've made like 5 parties and everyone loves them...there's one next week...
Things have improoved, really they have, but now I'm sad again, he left, and I wont see him anymore, oh well, shit happens, but still, deception follows deception, I just try not to focus in that aspect of my life...This is fun, writing stuff that I know no one will ever read but at the same time people can read...kind of...kinky...in my own and plain definition of kinky of course ....Don't you love the new White Stripes album?, I was thinking the whole cd was abstract, but actually that definition only works for 'The Nanny'....I can't wait until The new HIM album hits the storesin Mexico...

The guy form My chemical romance is cute...Edgar is so nice, I wonder if what I ate was celery, I dont like it....whoa...that's a lot of noise, dear god, make the kid shut up, I cant stand the sound of metal crashing, I get unconfortable when I have not hing to say...to many people staring at me fright me...I wanta new celphone, Greenday is not so good...I wish my dreams would come true, will I ever meet him?, he's music is beautiful....show me how to play drums dad!, but you promised!!...yeah, no problem, I know, you have to work...its ok...just like when you told me you were gonna show me how to drive...I dont care, everyone complains about everyone with me, I dont give a shit, really!, let me live my life, I'm 15!!!, everything has bee the same since I was 11....look what you turned me into..I hate you all....Hold on?...you relly dont understand....fuck you...I could have done so many things...I'm sick of being the one my family always count with....oh, oh, oh...it still hurt Ryan left me alone...Alkaline Trio...yess, Valentines day was depressing....it was....uuuh...where do all this people go?...geez...home schooled?, no thanks...I guess what Jen did was ok, it really helps...that's why I'm doing it....suicidegirls.com...I wanna look like them...I'm so ugly...I can't stand looking at myself....discusting...

Im just so tired of everything, I do not wish to die, becouse I'm expecting to live many things...I'm just tired of being nthe same, of living my life, of not having choices, or maybe of not having the courage to find choices...I'm tired and I cant figure out so many things about myself, I just feel like crying every day, but I dont see if all this things worth my tears....

December whooooo!!....

Anyways, *cough* like a month ago i met 2 girls, an italian that I'll name Mimi and a mexican that I'll name Pola...i met them at the 'Andador' a touristic street, and after that i started hanging out with Mimi every week, they are so smart and they amaze me, their world is so independent classic and thoughtfull*sp*, i dont know how to explain it, I just really like them. A week ago i met 'The Godfather' he's known between the kid's world, i dont want to write a fucking story, my point is that im now entering a new world, more free, more risky, more intelectual, more....underground, like a big fucking family, and I love it, i think I may have problems with my parents becouse of it, but i want to breathe, i want to just go out and not worry, despite the fact that i have a very relax life i dont ahve what im looking for, i want peace and i knoe the only way to get it its to make me find my own life....of course that will not come without a fight or two with my parents about their standards...even if they think they're liberal they wont get why i want to do this..... 

Today I lived one of the most unpleasent things in my life...I have a physicall*sp* condition, it has been a shame for me since the 8th garde, but i managed to live with it, and now i dont pay to much attention to it, but people do, when it began my classmates made fun of me in a horrrible way, i always let it passed, but i never wanted to accuse the people that made fun of me...i just wanted to be invisible. When i started the 10th grade everything was dandy, yes, people noticed my problem but i wasnt the target of jokes, there's a guy in my class that doesnt like me too much, neither do I, but i never payed attention to me, yes, he made fun of me a few times, but his jokes were lame and silly. In our spanish class we had to deliver a newspaper today (of the school) so we could sell it tomorrow to the WHOLE school, while i was checking the guy's newspaper i saw an article he made of me....it ws the most hurtful thing i read since the whole situation started in junior high, i felt ashamed, stupid, moked and vunerable, it was aweful, everything was starting again, and besides thats mocking of my condition the article said who i had a crush on...I'm a sophomore, how am i suppose to feel?, so i decided to stop it, but, when i went to see the principal to accuse him one of the teachers called me to her office, where the author of the article was too, and said that he had just accused of being 'mean, rude and rejecting him', first of all i said to her that since the begging of school we've marked our differences and that i didnt wish to have him as my friend, secind i started asking him when i said something to hurt his feelings, he couldnt say no ONE time...so i told the teacher about the article and i left school and went home, i talked to my dad and my mom and they decided it was enough, so they called to the school and asked what was hapenning, so, they just decided they are going to my school in 30 min to talk to the principal to erase that article and to make sure the guy is going to get a punishment....


Im so sick of being the target of all the fucking cruel jokes, YES, i have a pshysicall condition and im not proud of it, but i've been able to live with it, EVERYONE notices it when they meet me, why do people have the urge to scream it so people can reasure it and make fun of me??????????????, ITS MY FUCKING LIFE, ITS MY FUCKING BODY, NO ONE CAN CHANGE IT; LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

Well, the play was ok, some people said that i was the best in it *cough* but, the problem is that i only said like 10 lines in the whole play...so youc an imagine then how the others did, hahahahaha, oooh..

Well, i just found out that Bush won again, god i hate him, i guess this means my sister and her family have to move out from Cuba, becouse we have no doubts in Mexico that he'll attack Fidel Castro now that he's been reelected*sp*...dear god